Once a time a year, I am granted permission to divert from the world of intellectual property law and dabble in some fun stuff. Over the years, I have told you about how Scrooge got a bad rap, the naughtiest Santas of all time, Santa trademarks, and disturbing moments in your favorite holiday classics. Today, we are breaking down why those so called villains, of your favorite Christmas specials were actually in the right.

The perceived villain will receive a rank on their ACTUAL evilness between 1 (least evil) and 4 (epitome of evil).


"The Oil Company": The Night They Saved Christmas


If you missed this made for television movie from 1984, you are missing a made from television movie from 1984. The movie features, Ralph Kramden's, sidekick, Ed Norton, as Santa trying to plead with an oil company not to set off dynamite to unfreeze their oil drills because it might blow up the North Pole.
Spoiler, there was indeed a great oil field at the North Pole. Santa apparently stands in the way of capitalism in order to avoid the drilling of private property. Minus points for an oil company destroying the environment. (I start with my worst argument.)


Evil Ranking: 4


Professor Hinkle: Frosty the Snowman


Professor Hinkle is a struggling magician that when he throws out his hat in disgust over his career, finally realizes that he can indeed perform magic. Instead of just giving this out-of-luck magician doing poorly paid performances at middle schools his hat back, Frosty and Karen make a run for another continent to evade the law. Hinkle chases Bonnie and Clyde all the way to the North Pole, without a winter jacket, in an attempt to retrieve his property. In the process, Frosty melts away but, let's be honest, snowman have a very limited life span. But instead of congratulating him on his persistence, Santa punished Hinkle and makes him walk back home.

Evil Ranking: 2


Dr. Sawyer: Miracle on 34th Street


Dr. Sawyer merely wanted Kris Kringle locked up in a mental health facility because he had delusions that he was Santa Claus. In the process of doing so, Sawyer is savagely struck by Kringle with a cane and suffers severe bodily injury. Instead of being championed as a hero for mental health, Saywer is vilified for just doing his job. Also, kudos for Macys for having a full-time physiologist on the job. I bet Amazon doesn't even have that nowadays.  Sawyer loses points for biting his nails and being pretty slimy though.

Evil Ranking: 4



Scrooge: A Christmas Carol

I broke this one down in detail but again holiday stories are the enemies of capitalism as a man gets vilified for lending out money and having seasonal depression. You can read more about that here.

Evil Ranking: 1



Mr. Potter: It's a Wonderful Life


See the above for Scrooge but also, so Mr. Potter found some money and didn't give it back. Does that make him evil or Uncle Billy the true villain for having lost the money in the first place?

Evil Ranking: 2


Frank Shirley: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation


Clark irresponsibly put out more money than he had to install a pool. Mr. Shirley decided to cut out bonuses to keep the company afloat. A bonus is just that, a bonus. It is not guaranteed salary. Instead of kidnapping the man and extorting him for money, be more fiscally responsible, Mr. Griswold.

Evil Ranking: 1


Grinch: How the Grinch Stole Christmas


If you are a little different, sometimes, people ostracize you. That is what happened to the poor Grinch who was outcasted to Mount Krumpet to only live with his dog. So when just needing a little peace and quiet from his ostracizer, the Grinch strikes back in the only way he knows how. If the Whos took away his fun, he was going to take away theirs. I mean if you just invited the guy over for some roast beast instead of him having to invite himself, things would have went differently.


Evil Ranking: 1

Thanks for indulging me and happy holidays!